She’s the only parent I’ve ever known.
An icon and legend to me, as her daughter.
A woman of all women. A woman who, in a time when divorce was not so common, stood her ground – for what she felt was right for her and for her children.
With 2 and 3 jobs at a time, a mom who struggled and sacrificed more than anyone should have to, really. She gave it all up for us – my little brother and I. For sure she had aspirations and dreams of her own. But she never spoke of them.
Hockey, figure skating, softball, music lessons – all of them requiring equipment, instruments, registration fees. And always front row and center, there she was. It didn’t matter the time of morning for an early Saturday hockey practice and wading through snowdrifts to her hips to get there or a late Saturday night music gig. She wasn’t able to provide us with the absolute best of all or many of the bigger brand names, but what she did provide us with, was of far greater value than any brand name could offer – her time, her devotion, and her unwavering support, encouragement and faith in us.
Teaching us love for one another. Respect for one another. Insisting upon a closeness between siblings that not all may know. Where the two of you could disagree but at the end of the day, you were placed side by side in that big old gold-coloured leatherette lazy-boy chair and forced to make up “because each other is all you have”.
In the same home where forgiveness was a must, there were also the 3 words that were never permitted to escape our lips: “stupid”, “pig” and “hate”. No matter the situation, she let it be known that in no uncertain terms was it our role to judge – and that we were all human. Everyone would be treated fairly with dignity, respect and kindness – no matter who you were, what you had done or where you came from.
She taught us a love for the old, how to stretch a dollar, how to make everything count and when we grew tired of it, how to make it count again.
A single mom whose first car purchase was at the age of 40, her first house purchase at the age of 50 and a cottage at the age of 60. And all of it on her own. And no, there was no child support or alimony.
My mom, after a lifetime of hard work, in complete selflessness and sacrifice in raising her two children on her own and without help from anyone financially or other, is now in her own world at times in her dementia. Lord knows, I try with all of my heart, to do right by her in this stage of her life as she did for us in spades throughout all of ours. But really, can I ever do enough in return?
She was the mom who never stopped believing in us, even through our turbulent teen years. She stayed strong and independent on days when it would have been so tempting to take the easy road. But she never did. For her, it was just never an option.
Proud, hard-working, devoted. So tired but still believing and hanging on.
So when I sometimes feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, and need a reminder of whose girl I am, I straighten that crown and I find it in her eyes – eyes still exuding a lifetime of wisdom, understanding, empathy, forgiveness and love for everyone – with a kind word for everyone, and forever seeking the silver lining.
In her joy of life, her tender heart, her love to dance, her tear at every kind gesture from someone, her love of music that she so enthusiastically instilled in me…
This is whose girl I am.
The mom who raised me and set an example that I can only hope to be an ounce of in comparison in my role as ‘mom’, when that alone would almost be enough.
Yeah, that’s my beautiful mom.
To ALL of you beautiful moms out there, Happy Mother’s Day!!
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